I just started reading Gene Getz’s book, The Measure of a Man: 20 Attributes of A Godly Man. I immediately thought it was something I wanted to share with the men of our church family. The need for such a book seems obvious. Boys are rapidly growing up in this world without learning what it means to be a man… even fewer understand what it means to be a godly man. Too many are having to make it up on the fly… with disastrous results. Many adult men are in the same boat.
Therefore, I thought I would share some of the insights I’m gleaning from the book and pass them on to you, with a few extra items I hope will bless you.
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. (Philippians 3:12)
The first chapter of the book is a broad overview of everything Getz will be looking at throughout the rest of the book. The chapter is entitled, “Becoming Faithful Men.” That’s a key topic as well as an important title. You see, we aren’t born faithful. Just the opposite, in fact. We are born fallen in sin, broken, and far from God. If we’re blessed to be born and raised in a Christian family, we may come to know God earlier in our lives. However, regardless of our background, growing in our faith is a lifelong pursuit. As you can imagine, if our goal is "Christ-likeness,” then we all have a LONG way to go! So I like the word “becoming”, because it highlights the idea of process… not product. We are works in progress (superintended by God himself (Philippians 1:6), and our goal is to continue moving in a Christward direction throughout the course of our entire life.
The word becoming also emphasizes focus and intentionality. No one grows into a godly man by accident. It happens on purpose or it doesn’t happen at all. Philippians 3:12 captures this idea. The Apostle Paul labored and strained to reach the goal of maturity in Christ (i.e., godliness or holiness). It’s an everyday and “on purpose” process that requires nothing less than God’s Spirit working in and through us to give us the will, strength, and direction to grow in grace. We won’t grow in our faith apart from the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives, and yet, the Holy Spirit won’t do the work for us. We have to participate in the process.
Finally, Getz uses the word “faithful” to describe the kind of man he has in mind. Then, borrowing from 1 Timothy and Titus, Getz puts together a list of what we might call the marks of spiritually mature (godly) manhood. Here’s his list…
Can anyone read that list and declare they’ve already arrived? Anyone doing perfectly with this list?
Over the weeks to come I hope to look at each one of these headings and offer some thoughts and reflections from Scripture regarding what these characteristics might look like in our lives and how we might, in Paul’s words, “obtain them.”
To close this post, I want to share this prayer from Ken Boa…
Faithful Father, as I reflect on the redemptive history recorded in the narratives and oracles of Scripture, I see so many surprising setbacks and breakthroughs. The wisdom of Your Word invites me to view events and circumstances with a long-term perspective. When I only look at the short-term, I get muddled, confused and doubtful, because I allow my immediate circumstances to shape my understanding. But when I contextualize the events of my life in the long-term, I can see that You are indeed causing all things to work together for good to those who love You and are called according to Your purpose. Teach me to affirm that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to Your children in Christ.
Your Brother in Christ,
Several years ago I worked through Stuart Scott’s book, The Exemplary Husband, with a few folks from my church. We were moving along pretty well until we arrived at the chapter on communication. Yikes…I’ve got a long way to go before I reach mediocre, much less exemplary, regarding how well I communicate with my wife.
Now, I know that no one who reads this blog has any difficulties communicating, but just in case you know a person who knows a person who struggles in this area, I thought I would share a few of Scott’s key ideas.
Six Prerequisites to Good Communication
1.) A husband must want to please God more than anything else. (2 Cor. 5:9)
2.) A husband must be humble. (Eph. 4:1-3)
3.) A husband must be aware that he is accountable to God for everything he communicates (Matt. 12:36)
4.) A husband must know how to listen. (Proverbs 18:13) Listening well means…
5.) A husband must know that communication involves more than just words. He must be very careful about…
6.) A husband must be willing to put forth the effort and spend the time that it takes to communicate. (Rom. 12:10-12)
That ought to give us husbands something to work on for a while.
If there was ever a man who was in the "rat race," it was Solomon. The book of Ecclesiastes leads us to believe that Solomon realized, at the end of his life, that he was in that race. He had been very busy and was highly accomplished, yet his heart finally turned from the Lord. Only at the end of his life did he realize (as Paul had earlier in his life) that his "gain" was worth nothing. Solomon realized, as Pat Morley has said, "no one wins the rat race." A friend of mine further commented that even if you do win, you're still a rat."
The following video is the first of a series by Pat Morley called, "Man in the Mirror Remix." It's based on his fantastic book by the same title (minus the "remix"). Our men's groups at the church I serve have been studying Ecclesiastes. As I was reading through Morley's table of contents I realized that his book is a modern day Ecclesiastes, without all the despair and with much more help. You should check it out at the following link. And enjoy the video.
Part 1 of The Man in the Mirror Remix
by Pat Morley
Produced by Man in the Mirror Ministries
I update this post about once a year to reflect many of the great new websites and ministries for Christian men. I also have a page of links to other men's websites, ministries, organizations, etc., that you may not find on this post, but that I still think add a great deal of value to men who are seeking to follow Christ in every sphere of life. Some aren't necessarily Christian in their purpose but still have some helpful content (You'll have to use your discernment while on those websites.)
Part of my criteria for choosing which websites I have included is they have to be useful. In other words, there are many men's ministries out there that are doing a wonderful job for the Kingdom, yet their websites aren't designed to do much more than give some information about their ministries. So, they're not necessarily great online resources to minister to men. The websites I have included provide articles, devotionals, podcasts, YouTube videos, training material, social media connections, newsletters, and more.
Grace and Truth,
1. The Fellowship of Ailbe. T.M. Moore, who is the principal of the Fellowship is a dear brother in Christ and has been mentoring/discipling me for the last couple of years. His website is a treasure trove of very helpful articles and other resources. You can register to take courses on various topics and more. Make sure to sign up to have some of the content emailed to you daily or weekly. It's more than worth it. This is a website and ministry that I engage with on a daily basis.
2. Ken Boa.org - Ken mentored and discipled me during my three years of seminary in Atlanta (and through his written, audio, and video materials ever since). While his website is not exclusively for men, much of it is aimed at men. His weekly teaching videos are worth the price of admission. (His Wednesday morning class, which is a men's study, is phenomenal.) Lots of great things in the archives.
3. Man in the Mirror Ministries with Pat Morley. Morley and company are the premier thinkers in the world of ministering to men. Their website is super user-friendly. You can read countless articles on men's ministry, men's issues, etc. You can also download and listen to the men's Bible studies taught by Morley or watch them online. You can also sign up for a number of training events that Man in the Mirror puts on or purchase some fantastic resources
4. Every Man Ministries with Kenny Luck. This website and ministry is growing by leaps and bounds. Great stuff.
5. No Regrets Men's Ministries - (used to be Top Gun Ministries) - Steve Sonderman has written two fantastic books on getting ministry to men off the ground. He's done some great work at the church he serves.
6. Christian Businessman's Connection - Loaded with great resources to help men become ambassadors for Christ in the workplace.
6. New Men Magazine
7. The Men's Page at Bible.org
8. Church for Men
9. Men's Ministry Catalyst
10. Iron Sharpens Iron - These folks mostly put on training events for men, but they do have some resources. But I included them because their events are worth going to.
What did I miss? Please feel free to contact me to let me know. Or, again, check out the page of manhood links to see if your suggestion can be found there.
Grace and Truth,
I really enjoy reading the articles at The Art of Manliness. The folks there are a creative bunch and there’s usually not a week that goes by that there isn’t something very interesting to read. Not only that, but it’s an excellently put together website (unlike amateur-hour over here). While not necessarily coming at manhood from a biblical perspective, much of what they share could still receive a hearty “Amen,” from men pursuing godliness.
A while back they posted a two-part series called, “Don’t Waste Your Twenties.” (Click here to read Part 1… and here for Part 2). The first post focused a great deal on how our brains are wired during our twenties and what we are, therefore, able to do better during that decade than when we grow older. Part two is a natural follow-up post that basically says, “Since your brain is, in fact, wired that way… take advantage of it. Don’t waste this prime time in your life” (that’s my very simple paraphrase). Again, both posts are very interesting and I would encourage you to read them both.
Those posts reminded me of a book I read by one of my favorite authors, Steve Farrar. It’s entitled, How To Ruin Your Life by 30. (By the way, I think it’s the perfect gift for both high school and college graduates!) It’s short, simple, and to the point. Better yet, it’s really insightful. Here are Farrar’s nine suggestions for how a young person can do a super job at ruining his or her life by age 30…
1.) Overlook the law of cause and effect
2.) Get off to a bad start
3.) Ignore God’s purpose for your life
4.) Refuse to take responsibility for your actions
5.) Neglect your gifts and strengths when choosing a vocation
6.) Disregard what the Bible says about sex and marriage
7.) Stop Learning
8.) Isolate yourself
9.) Refuse daily wisdom
Obviously, the book is written to make the very opposite points and Farrar offers some helpful wisdom for folks at any age… not just the under 30 crowd.
Of course, the granddaddy of the “don’t waste your life” books is John Piper’s book… you guessed it… Don’t Waste Your Life. There is much wisdom in this book as well. One of Piper’s main desires is to encourage Christians not to give into the temptation of a retirement that amounts to no more than moving to Florida to collect shells on the beach and to play golf every day. He shares the words on a plaque that was in his childhood home that said…
Only one life,
‘Twill soon be past;
Only what’s done
for Christ will last.
The book is essentially an exposition of those words and the countless texts in Scripture that communicate that truth. It’s an inspiring, encouraging, and CONVICTING book. I think of the two, I would buy the Farrar book for graduates and give older folks the Piper book. Both, however, are well worth reading for Christians who take their lives in this world seriously.
Grace and Truth,
I have a good number of "raising sons" sort of books sitting on my bookshelves. While some are better than others, I have appreciated them all and am grateful for the effort being made by the authors to highlight the importance of raising sons in today's world.
As the father of three boys, the topic of raising sons to become godly men is very important to me. It’s more than that… it’s a passion of mine. If only I was better at it. If only I was more faithfully practicing what I’m learning in all the books I’m reading on the subject. If only I was more consistent. Well, like the rest of life, fathering sons is also a journey, one I pray that, by God’s grace, I will become better at traveling.
Many, if not most books on the subject, begin by communicating just how rough it is to be a boy (or man) these days. When you realize some of these books were written 15-20 years ago, you appreciate it has not gotten any better for boys or men. Here were three articles written a few years ago by Al Mohler to help make that case.
Other authors, such as Pat Morley, Steve Farrar, and Robert Lewis, who have written extensively on the subject of ministering to men, have all shared the same: Boys are growing up without any real understanding of what it means to be a man. There are even fewer who have an understanding of what biblical manhood is. When the default definition of manhood comes from movies and other forms of the entertainment industry, you know our culture is in trouble.
In addition to raising our three sons (and one awesome daughter) with my wife, I was also privileged to lead a small group of middle school boys for a few years. I jumped at the chance because I believe the church, (as a supplement to the home) is where boys have the greatest chance to learn what it means to become a godly man. I thank God for homes, churches, ministries to boys, scouting programs, etc., that are taking seriously the call to help boys navigate their way to manhood from a biblical perspective. Our culture will be lost without such boys who grow to become such men.
Where, how, and to whom is God calling you to invest your life in the lives of boys who need your godly influence? Pray about it today and then act on it as soon as possible. They need you. We need you.
Grace and Truth,
In their study guide, "Being God's Man in the Face of Temptation," Steven Arterburn, Kenny Luck, and Todd Wendorff introduce the topic of men's temptations by listing a sort of "Top Ten" (in this case, it's only eight) temptations men face. They say a man is tempted to...
These are the areas they unpack throughout the rest of the study. I thought it might be helpful and good for me to revisit this study (which I did ten years ago) and see how my answers I wrote then match my thinking today. And, in the process, I hope to be able share some wisdom with you as well as receive some wisdom from you on these issues.
Five key ideas this study helps to provide us are...
You can order your own copy of the study guide here. I encourage you to do so as I found it to be a great blessing in helping me grow in godliness.
The Fellowship of Ailbe
Institute for Faith, Work, & Economics
Ravi Zacharias International Ministries
C.S. Lewis Institute
The Gospel Coalition
The Institute on Religion and Democracy
Every Square Inch Ministries
Gene Edward Veith
Center for Cultural Leadership
Church and Culture