Gracious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, thank you for your promises. You have promised you will never leave us nor forsake us. You will help us fight the good fight, finish the race, and keep the faith. We know that were we to go one day without your sovereign grace and strength undergirding us, we would fail miserably. And so, O Lord, we give you our deepest thanks. You have promised that there is a crown of righteousness awaiting us for seeking you in this life and desiring your appearance. This is not something you owe us, but another expression of your grace in our lives. O Lord, for this and more, we give you our thanks. In Christ we pray, Amen. (from 2 Timothy 4:6-8)
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As David Powlison says in his Forward to Tedd Tripp’s, Shepherding Your Child’s Heart, “most books on parenting give you advice either on how to shape and constrain your children’s behavior or on how to make them feel good about themselves.” Of course, neither of those objectives is completely wrongheaded… they just shouldn’t be a parent’s primary objective. Tripp puts well what should be our primary objective with these words...
God is concerned with the heart – the well-spring of life (Proverbs 4:23). Parents tend to focus on the externals of behavior rather than the internal overflow of the heart. We tend to worry more about the “what” of behavior than the “why”. Accordingly, most of us spend an enormous amount of energy in controlling and constraining behavior. When we miss the heart, we miss the subtle idols of the heart. When we miss the heart, we miss the gospel. If the goal of parenting is no more profound than securing appropriate behavior, we will never help our children understand the internal things, the heart issues, that push and pull behavior. Those internal issues: self-love, rebellion, anger, bitterness, envy, and pride of the heart show our children how profoundly they need grace. If the problem with children is deeper than inappropriate behavior, if the problem is the overflow of the heart, then the need for grace is established. Jesus came to earth, lived a perfect life and died as an infinite sacrifice so that children (and their parents) can be forgiven, transformed, liberated and empowered to love God and love others. from Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp |
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