I have a good number of "raising sons" sort of books sitting on my bookshelves. While some are better than others, I have appreciated them all and am grateful for the effort being made by the authors to highlight the importance of raising sons in today's world.
As the father of three boys, the topic of raising sons to become godly men is very important to me. It’s more than that… it’s a passion of mine. If only I was better at it. If only I was more faithfully practicing what I’m learning in all the books I’m reading on the subject. If only I was more consistent. Well, like the rest of life, fathering sons is also a journey, one I pray that, by God’s grace, I will become better at traveling.
Many, if not most books on the subject, begin by communicating just how rough it is to be a boy (or man) these days. When you realize some of these books were written 15-20 years ago, you appreciate it has not gotten any better for boys or men. Here were three articles written a few years ago by Al Mohler to help make that case.
Other authors, such as Pat Morley, Steve Farrar, and Robert Lewis, who have written extensively on the subject of ministering to men, have all shared the same: Boys are growing up without any real understanding of what it means to be a man. There are even fewer who have an understanding of what biblical manhood is. When the default definition of manhood comes from movies and other forms of the entertainment industry, you know our culture is in trouble.
In addition to raising our three sons (and one awesome daughter) with my wife, I was also privileged to lead a small group of middle school boys for a few years. I jumped at the chance because I believe the church, (as a supplement to the home) is where boys have the greatest chance to learn what it means to become a godly man. I thank God for homes, churches, ministries to boys, scouting programs, etc., that are taking seriously the call to help boys navigate their way to manhood from a biblical perspective. Our culture will be lost without such boys who grow to become such men.
Where, how, and to whom is God calling you to invest your life in the lives of boys who need your godly influence? Pray about it today and then act on it as soon as possible. They need you. We need you.
Grace and Truth,
As David Powlison says in his Forward to Tedd Tripp’s, Shepherding Your Child’s Heart, “most books on parenting give you advice either on how to shape and constrain your children’s behavior or on how to make them feel good about themselves.” Of course, neither of those objectives is completely wrongheaded… they just shouldn’t be a parent’s primary objective. Tripp puts well what should be our primary objective with these words...
God is concerned with the heart – the well-spring of life (Proverbs 4:23). Parents tend to focus on the externals of behavior rather than the internal overflow of the heart. We tend to worry more about the “what” of behavior than the “why”. Accordingly, most of us spend an enormous amount of energy in controlling and constraining behavior.
When we miss the heart, we miss the subtle idols of the heart.
When we miss the heart, we miss the gospel. If the goal of parenting is no more profound than securing appropriate behavior, we will never help our children understand the internal things, the heart issues, that push and pull behavior. Those internal issues: self-love, rebellion, anger, bitterness, envy, and pride of the heart show our children how profoundly they need grace. If the problem with children is deeper than inappropriate behavior, if the problem is the overflow of the heart, then the need for grace is established. Jesus came to earth, lived a perfect life and died as an infinite sacrifice so that children (and their parents) can be forgiven, transformed, liberated and empowered to love God and love others.
from Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp