Hit with a Blunt Object

Have you ever met a person who believed they were given the spiritual gift of bludgeoning people over the head with their “honesty?” Are you such a person?

Such people appear to be focused only on what they “think” their intention is, which, as they might put it, is... “just being honest.” They wield their “honesty” like a “Get out of jail free card” to say what they want, when and how they want to say it. They seem to think they can be as offensive as they desire, as long as they follow their remarks with, “Hey, I’m just being honest.” Or, as others might put it, “I’m just keeping it real.” Once this magical incantation is invoked, at least to them, they should be absolved from all they’ve just said, regardless of how hurtful or insulting it may have been.

Three Helpful Questions

Perhaps you have heard the following questions before, but I wanted to share them because I have found them helpful in my own life. These are questions I ask myself before I decide to share my own unsolicited “honesty” with others.
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1.) Is it true? Obviously, if you’re going to pass on your thoughts to someone else, you should be communicating the truth. Whether it’s objective truth, or even the truth of your opinion, it should be true. The 112th question and answer of The Heidelberg Catechism puts it this way:
 
Question: What is required in the ninth commandment?
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Answer: I must not give false testimony against anyone, twist no one’s words, not gossip or slander, nor condemn or join in condemning anyone rashly and unheard. Rather, I must avoid all lying and deceit as the devil’s own works, under penalty of God’s heavy wrath. In court and everywhere else, I must love the truth, speak and confess it honestly, and do what I can to defend and promote my neighbor’s honor and reputation.
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While this is certainly helpful for us in thinking through our communication with others, this ought not be all there is to it. There are at least a couple more things for us to consider.

2.) Is it kind? Are your remarks bearing the fruit of Christian kindness? Are they words that will be a blessing and encouragement to the other person? Even if hard words must be spoken, we can still say them in such a way that will make it clear to the person to whom we’re speaking that we have their best interest at heart and not merely our personal agenda.

3.) Is it necessary? Does the person you are “being honest” with need to know you don’t like what they’re wearing, or how they’re raising their children, or how they decorate their house for Christmas? We may desperately want to share our opinions on all those issues and more, but that’s not the same thing as their need to know it.
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As a Christian, truth and honesty should be paramount, yet not for the sake of merely sharing our own opinions, but for the sake of helping the other person. If God is not glorified in the transaction of honesty and truth, and if the purpose of the exchange is not the genuine benefit of the other person, then we’re not doing much more than sharing our opinions for the sake of lifting up ourselves. In which case, we should just keep our opinions to ourselves.
 
Walking Points
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• Do you struggle with the desire to share your unsolicited opinion with others (“just being honest), regardless of how it makes the other person feel?
• What do you think the real cause of that desire is?
• Which of the three questions is most convicting to you? Why?
• What other questions would be helpful to you in deciding whether or not you need to pass along your opinion to another person?

Galatians 4:9 - But now that you know God–or rather are known by God–how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again?

A Change of Address

When we lived in darkness – when we were of the world – it made perfect sense that we lived as the world lived. We were a part of its system. You might say it was the very air we breathed.

But when we were delivered from that bondage, ignorance, and darkness, we were made into something new. Paul described us as new creations. To paraphrase the Apostle elsewhere,

“When I was a worldling, I talked like a worldling, I thought like a worldling, I reasoned like a worldling. When I became a new creature in Christ, I put worldish ways behind me.”

It is therefore sad to observe how the Apostle had to address the Galatian believers and ask them why they were turning back to their old, dead ways.

It’s difficult to admit how shortsighted we can be on a daily basis. If we don’t keep Christ daily before us, pursuing him with all God’s grace and our might, we inevitably find ourselves drifting back to the world and its ways of thinking. And such worldish thinking will soon lead to worldish living. What’s so frightening about this process is that even as it happens, we don’t seem aware that we are becoming enslaved to those “weak and miserable principles” all over again.

Why Do We Do This?

The question is indicting: Why would we ever want to go back to such thinking and living once we have been freed from it? Why do we seem to prefer bondage to freedom at times? It’s almost comical how we, like the Israelites, begin romanticizing how great the leeks and onions were in Egypt and forget about the fact that we were slaves there. Why do we do this?

There are probably many good answers. No believer, I hope, truly thinks the world is preferable to the things of God. I don’t think being out of shape is preferable to being healthy. But one skipped workout at a time – over a period of undisciplined living – and a person will find himself struggling to walk up a flight of stairs. That was never the intention, but it was the consequence.

Similarly, a little disobedience and sloth here and there and one day a person will wake up terribly out of shape for the Kingdom. In truth, they will be downright unfit for it.

I’ve discovered in my own life that I tend to do the things I want to do. It’s no more complicated than that. I may dress it up in elaborate excuses and rationalizations, but at the end of the day that’s all they are. Can you relate to that?

Don’t Ignore God’s Means of Grace

Thankfully, those who are genuinely in Christ will not be able to return to their old ways without feeling the disciplinary rod of the Holy Spirit. God is not content to watch his children become remolded in the world’s image.

By God’s magnificent grace, the smoke detector goes off long before the fire blazes out of control. God awakens and disciplines those who are his own and gets them/us back on track again. But even here he does not “do” all the work for us. We can still choose to sleep in instead of pray and study. We can play instead of worship on Sunday mornings. Fill in the blank with those temptations that continue to call you back to your old life. We will have those choices ever before us.

But if you cry out to your loving Father for help, his grace will abound once more to rescue you from your chains. And if you rely on him daily and practice those things he promised will make you spiritually healthy, you may find you have to be rescued less often.

Walking Points

• Do you ever find yourself moving back to the world’s ways of thinking and living?
• What do you think are the primary reasons you do so?
• Have you ever wandered back so deeply into slavery to sin that you thought you were beyond rescue? How did you escape?
• What are two or three ways you can protect yourself from becoming enslaved to the “weak and miserable principles” of the world in the future?
• Talk about your answers with a trusted Christian brother and pray for one another.

 
Prayer

Loving Father, you have redeemed me and adopted me into your family. You desire that I imitate you in my daily life. But all too often I feel the pull of my old life, the lure of sinful desire. Those weak and miserable principles seemingly cast a spell on me. Show me how awful, ugly, and untrue they really are and how they will only entrap and enslave me to a horrible bondage. Please let me see how wicked they really are before I give myself to them. Enable me by your grace to grow in grace. Control me with your Spirit so that I will both desire to, and be able to, live fully for you. In the name of Christ, I pray. Amen.

​Proverbs 7:21-27

To the Cheese...

It’s interesting how, in this Scripture, the unsuspecting man followed the prostitute to his demise. O how her beauty, flattery, and persistence wore him down. Yet he was an active participant in his own deception. Thus, he blindly, yet willingly, followed her to her home, supposing he was about to have the time of his life. Unbeknownst to him, he was marching toward his undoing. Observe the language…
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• “like and ox going to the slaughter”
• “like a deer stepping into a noose”
• “like a bird darting into a snare”

Out of willful ignorance or naiveté, these three creatures fell prey to the traps set for them – a decision, so to speak, that would cost them their lives.

Compound Effect

We are the same. We may see great big obvious temptations for what they are. But the serpent’s craftiness is found in his subtleties. It is the consistent smallness of our daily surrenders to those subtleties that lead us into the slaughterhouse, the noose, the snare. A compromise here and there will have a powerful snowball effect in our lives. We often have no idea when we say “yes” to that first, small, seemingly insignificant trifle of a temptation, that it is the first step on a path that will lead to our destruction. We unwittingly pay a price that will cost us dearly – our very lives… our families… our ministries… and so on.

I can’t help but think of the children’s song, “Be careful little eyes what you see. Be careful little ears what you hear.” For ultimately, we cannot plead ignorance. We cannot say we didn’t know the gun was loaded. God has given us his Word and Spirit to lead and guide us through our lives. Ponder the Walking Points questions below with some Christian brothers and ask the Lord for his grace to live faithfully as godly men.

Walking Points
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• Read Proverbs 7:21-27. Write down key three ideas you learn from this Scripture.
• How can you stay on the path that leads to life?
• What are some ways you watch out for those traps in your life?
• If you do find yourself heading down the “highway to the grave,” how can you get back on the right path?
• What are some things you can do in advance to protect yourself from the seductiveness of sin?
• What can you do to hold one another accountable? Start today!